The Groan Awards 2014 Results

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TechnicalEphemera
Speaker of the House
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Joined: Mon 25 Aug, 2014 11:21 pm

The Groan Awards 2014 Results

Post by TechnicalEphemera »

The full results of the 2014 Groan Awards are now in. The Groan awards are the FTN equivalent of the Oscars and the Razzies combined. However unlike the Oscars money and populism have no say in these awards; not sadly because of FTN's high moral standards, but more because nobody cares enough to try and lobby us.

I would like to thank all those that nominated people/articles and voted in the poll. The winners and runners up in each of the categories are given below.

I will post an abridged version of this in the Politics Blog readers edition. Last year we got a staff pick, this year we will probably be moderated. Still them's the breaks.

1. The Golden Hammer Award for best political journalist / contributor

Awarded to the journalist / contributor who has produced the most consistently good analysis over the year. The contributor most likely to hit the nail on the head with an implement vaguely resembling a hammer.

Winner: Martin Rowson

While Martin is a political cartoonist, the FTN members felt that somehow in one picture he was able to sum up the political story of the day perfectly. In short a picture really was worth a thousand words, in the case of some contributors perhaps a million words.

Runner up: Zoe Williams.
Also nominated George Monbiot.

2. The Red Thumb Award for the worst political journalist / contributor

Awarded to the journalist / contributor who in the view of the FTN members has most often been wide of the mark, or perhaps has developed a loving for clickbait. This was as always a closely fought battle, with a wide selection of candidates.

Winner: Patrick Wintour

Patrick won the award based on his ability to view the political landscape from behind a pair of patented Nick Clegg tinted glasses. It is good to know that in these troubled times Nick has somebody Vigourous Glossy and Unbending in his corner at the New Guardian.

Runner up: John Crace
Also nominated: John Harris, Simon Jenkins.

3. Best Article

Awarded to the the article that the FTN members thought was the best of the year.

Winner: Harry Leslie Smith for this article.
http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014 ... -workhouse

As always Harry's writing style is electric, and the benefits of having actually lived it deserve rather more credit than they are often given in politics.

Runner up: Will Hutton for this article.
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre ... tax-system

4. Worst Article

Awarded to the article that FTN members thought was the worst of the year.

Winner: Daniel Boffey for this article:
http://www.theguardian.com/politics/201 ... hip-change

As others in the media have pointed out, a large number of things here don't stack up, not least the 20 shadow ministers line, and the fact that when you actually look for evidence to back this up the anonymous source vanishes in the haze. FTN doesn't necessarily share the view of Tom Pride -
https://tompride.wordpress.com/2014/11/ ... -miliband/
- but it does make us wonder.

Runner Up:
John Crace for proving conclusively that satire, comedy and politics are not things he fully understands.
http://www.theguardian.com/politics/201 ... ion-labour

Also Nominated: Margaret Drabble for a somewhat muddled argument here
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre ... -education
The Editor (whoever that is) for this random collection of words on a page. If anybody knows what is meant by Post Naval Nation - or indeed any of it, do let us know.
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre ... val-nation

5. Best New Contributor

Awarded for the best new journalist / contributor appearing in the Guardian this year. Their output is considered by FTN members to have enhanced the papers reputation for serious journalism.

This was a controversial award as it has been won by an abstract concept rather than a person, which is surprising when you consider the competition.

Winner: The Empty Space previously occupied by Chris Huhne

Runner up: Owen Jones.

6. Worst New Contributor

Awarded for the new signing that in the view of FTN members has done the most to damage the Guardian's reputation for serious journalism.

No Award: FTN members couldn't find anybody that, in their opinion, fitted the bill for this. So Chris Huhne gets to keep his award for another year, which we are sure will look fabulous on the wall next to his other keepsakes (like that natty HMP branded T-Shirt).

7. The Daily Mail Milibash Award

Awarded for the single worst example of gratuitous Daily Mail style character assassination of Ed Miliband. As always with the Guardian there was quite a lot of choice, but in the end the award was unanimous and uncontested.

Winner: Christina Patterson for this prime example of the art. We hope that the Daily Mail head hunters are already signing her up on an exclusive ten year contract.
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre ... an-brother

8. The Golden Glover Award

Awarded for the most deluded sycophantic pro coalition propaganda that seeks to warp reality to fit Con Dem La La Land. This award is named after one of the greatest exponents of the art, as seen here http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre ... y-moderate

Winner: The Editor (whoever that is) for this fabulous piece eulogising the Liberal Democrats.
http://www.theguardian.com/politics/201 ... conference

Runner up: Rafael Behr for Osborne the Keynsian.
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre ... ories-ukip

9. The 1984 Post Truth Headline award

For the most misleading and grasping black is white headline, where the headline completely misleads with respect to the substance of the story.

Winner: Patrick Wintour for this. It was published after the Guardian politics blog conceded that Prescott didn't actually call Ed Miliband Red Ed, but that he mangled words which had a rather comedic result. However no matter Patrick had his headline.
http://www.theguardian.com/politics/201 ... and-red-ed

Runner up: Rowena Mason for this article (note the headline is not the original)
Sarah Teather: 'we end up inventing problems to pretend we're relevant'
http://www.theguardian.com/politics/201 ... maker-2013
Originally it said "Sarah Teather: Why I quit", which is odd because last time anybody checked she was still working in the House of Commons. The Guardian later changed it, but failed to note the fact.

10. Best Cartoon

Awarded for the single best political cartoon of the year in the eyes of the FTN members.

Winner: Martin Rowson for this:
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre ... ce-cartoon

Runner up Martin Rowson for this:
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre ... meron-ukip
Release the Guardvarks.
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