Monday 11'th 2015

ohsocynical · Post by **ohsocynical** » Mon 11 May, 2015 7:45 pm

refitman wrote:
ohsocynical wrote:BTW. Is Dan all right? Or have I missed if he's posted in the last few days?

Also wondering how Ernst is doing.
I'm fine, just my usual quiet self.

Re: The 'Thanks button'. I'm out for a bit tonight, but will have a look at installing it when I get home. If not, tomorrow.

You're a star...Glad you're ok....

PorFavor · Post by **PorFavor** » Mon 11 May, 2015 7:48 pm

rebeccariots2 wrote:
PorFavor wrote:And maybe, in a Ukip-supporter embracing gesture, Ed Miliband could come back, too.
According to a tweet I saw earlier he and Justine were on a flight to Ibiza ... (he'll probably come back from a scripted holiday with a different face, different voice ... and we'll all be expected to pretend we don't notice it's David).

That sounds more like a Stephen King offering than a soap!

rebeccariots2 · Post by **rebeccariots2** » Mon 11 May, 2015 7:50 pm

PorFavor wrote:
rebeccariots2 wrote:
PorFavor wrote:And maybe, in a Ukip-supporter embracing gesture, Ed Miliband could come back, too.
According to a tweet I saw earlier he and Justine were on a flight to Ibiza ... (he'll probably come back from a scripted holiday with a different face, different voice ... and we'll all be expected to pretend we don't notice it's David).
That sounds more like a Stephen King offering than a soap!

You obviously haven't listened to the Archers recently ... they come back with ghastly cod accents to try and make themselves sound like the one that went off on the holiday, overseas job, etc.

rebeccariots2 · Post by **rebeccariots2** » Mon 11 May, 2015 7:52 pm

Tom Newton Dunn ‏@tnewtondunn 1m1 minute ago
Poor old Grant Shapps: sacked from the Cabinet - and now a mid ranking minister at DFID, No10 announces.

But is that going to be his only job?

PorFavor · Post by **PorFavor** » Mon 11 May, 2015 7:53 pm

rebeccariots2 wrote:
George Eaton @georgeeaton · 25m 25 minutes ago
Furious Ian Lavery shouting at PLP meeting that party must not return to New Labour - "we live in 2015, not 1997".
Sounds like it was quite a punchy meeting from tweets I've seen. Harman doing her job well.

During the 1984–85 Miners' Strike Lavery was the only apprentice in the North East area who refused to go to work.[3] He was arrested seven times during the strike. (Wikipedia)

Should please Temulkar! It pleases me, too, for what it's worth.

RogerOThornhill · Post by **RogerOThornhill** » Mon 11 May, 2015 7:57 pm

rebeccariots2 wrote:
Tom Newton Dunn ‏@tnewtondunn 1m1 minute ago
Poor old Grant Shapps: sacked from the Cabinet - and now a mid ranking minister at DFID, No10 announces.
But is that going to be his only job?

Michael Green will stay on as chairman.

rebeccariots2 · Post by **rebeccariots2** » Mon 11 May, 2015 7:59 pm

Tim Shipman ‏@ShippersUnbound 3m3 minutes ago
Explaining Shapps move. Senior Tory: "The campaign was run by Crosby, Textor & Gilbert reporting to Cameron & Osborne, paid for by Feldman."

Faisal Islam ‏@faisalislam 3m3 minutes ago
So party chairman oversees first majority win in 23 years... Gets demoted from Cabinet.

ohsocynical · Post by **ohsocynical** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:00 pm

Don't know whether anyone else picked it up, but David Miliband has been running down his brother and Gordon Brown.

They didn't think much of that on Twitter...

rebeccariots2 · Post by **rebeccariots2** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:01 pm

RogerOThornhill wrote:
rebeccariots2 wrote:
Tom Newton Dunn ‏@tnewtondunn 1m1 minute ago
Poor old Grant Shapps: sacked from the Cabinet - and now a mid ranking minister at DFID, No10 announces.
But is that going to be his only job?
Michael Green will stay on as chairman.

You may be on the right lines with that one ...

Kevin Maguire ‏@Kevin_Maguire 4m4 minutes ago
Can Michael Green remain Tory co-chair now Grant Shapps is demoted to a DFID deputy? Best they go their separate ways

AngryAsWell · Post by **AngryAsWell** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:02 pm

I've been thinking a lot to day.
Mainly about what Hugo has had to say, and one comment in particular he made which was (along the lines of)
"Any one of you here today would prefer a Tony Blair government to the one we have now..." and he is right as far as I'm concerned (minus the war)
That's what has been playing on my mind.
First, and in retrospect, why didn't "right wing Labour" apply the same rule? That any Labour is better than no Labour? Why didn't they get behind Ed, instead of sniping from the side lines, and ensure he got elected?
Hugo if you read this would you be so kind as to answer that for me ? thanks.
Looking forward
Hugo's statement still stands.
Tonight people are going to bed hungry, will be struggling to find money to pay the bedroom tax, and telling their kids sorry but no, I can't afford it. "It" being anything from a bar of chocolate to a new coat or pair of shoes, come winter they will be cold and hungry. The NHS is on the point of no return and ...well I don't have to list every thing, you all know anyway. And for those reasons, and starting from the position we are in now, then yes, I would prefer a TB gov to this lot - but that doesn't mean I want one. I feel like I'm backed into a corner with no way out. Either we accept a right wing leader or right wing Labour will again join the rabid press and make sure, as they did by not supporting Ed (till too late to make a difference) whoever it is fails.
This is what is being done and I can't see a way round it.

ohsocynical · Post by **ohsocynical** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:03 pm

rebeccariots2 wrote:
Tom Newton Dunn ‏@tnewtondunn 1m1 minute ago
Poor old Grant Shapps: sacked from the Cabinet - and now a mid ranking minister at DFID, No10 announces.
But is that going to be his only job?

If it was any other party, that young man would have been cast into the wilderness many years ago...

rebeccariots2 · Post by **rebeccariots2** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:09 pm

Daniel Boffey ‏@DanielBoffey 2m2 minutes ago
Did labour need David Miliband to slag off his brother? Add anything to debate?I have seen people say was anodyne stuff. Then why say it?

Quite. Just adds fuel to a stupid narrative ... that the media made sure overrode far more important issues such as policy.

Makes me actively dislike him for doing this. Hope he doesn't come anywhere near UK politics again.

Tizme1 · Post by **Tizme1** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:10 pm

ephemerid wrote:
TheGrimSqueaker wrote:
yahyah wrote:Louise Mensch is unhappy about Pickles.
I'm with her on that one. Never did understand why they put them in all the burgers.

I know why.

She is pickled herself.

It's the Botox. It's a poison, you know. I think it gets absorbed into the brain.....

---------------------------------------------------

For Tem and Tiz -

Mea culpa, it was I who called Bartolotti hatstand barking. Poor joke.
Mea culpa, it was I who called lovely Leanne Miss Woody Two-Shoes. Good joke.
Mea culpa, it was I who called Nathan Gill an oleaginous spiv Mormon git. No joke.
Mea culpa, it was I who called Stephen Crabb a total utter prat and more. Also no joke.
Mea culpa, it was I who invented OGRFG and preening popinjay for TCC. Absolute truth.
Mea culpa, it was I who accused Gidiot of a snow problem on his nodding performance at PMQs. Gouch out!
Mea culpa, it was I who said I'd be up early to hate IDS a bit longer. And I'll say it again and never apologise.

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

I have been really really horrible to just about everyone who I feel like taking the piss out of or being nasty to.
Nobody is safe.

Pickles is a fat git. Shapps is a lot of people and I despise them all. Boris is a nasty vicious proto-fascist thug.
Redwood is Vulcan. I honestly believe that this is true.
Hammond is a dangerous snake. Truss is irredeemably thick and I hate her little-girlie foolishness.
Gove is a fish. I honestly believe that this is also true.
Fester McVile and Jeremy NoTypo are hideous people and I despise them deeply.

In fact, I have been absolutely foul about the Tories because they deserve it.
I have also sharpened my tongue on Reeves, Green, and a few Labour bods.

Yet through all of this, only one flippant jokey remark gets picked on for a comment.
If we all did this, we'd be in PC-lingo up to the kazoo and life's too bloody short.

I've got some serious thinking to do and I'd like it if people with brains - whatever our political differences - got together and worked together to sort out what we can do to build a bit of left-wing resilience in the face of what is going to be a brutal few years.

The people we love, our kids, the people who come after us, deserve it; I want to get on with it. This is a call to arms, people!

*chortle*

I started today thinking I would quietly delete my registration here and leave. Then I decided that as I was still extremely hurt and angry, I should hold fire. It's never a good idea to make decisions in anger. So I thought maybe I'd just pop in and read and see if things were more positive. Almost the first thing I saw was the tag line yahyah had this morning about Green concern trolls - aimed at me I suspected. And I was no longer angry. I was furious. I wanted to smack her stupid face. Obviously I have absolutely no idea whether yahyah has a stupid face . In fact I'm not entirely sure what a 'stupid face' is. Unless it's Richard Harrington when he's listening to someone. One day maybe I'll see if I can find/take a pic and you can all pass judgement on whether it qualifies as a stupid face. I digress. I decided not to even read for a while.

Having regained my equilibrium somewhat, I started to read again. I saw Tem's post and thought yep, Tem is trying to make the same point as I tried to make about UKIP at one stage, only much more effectively maybe. And then I saw yahyah's reaction and the spat that developed. I realised yahyah had misunderstood what tem meant about 'faculties going'. It was obvious there was no point my trying to explain that to her so I was busy looking to see who was online that I could PM and ask them to perhaps say something to ease things. Then I saw your 'don't take this the wrong way Tem' post Ephe. And I found myself thinking that was unfair and I wanted to smack your stupid face. Now actually I know you have a rather lovely face and not at all stupid but hey, don't let facts get in the way when you're angry.

At this point, given I loathe violence, I was getting rather worried at all this face smacking I wanted to do and thought I needed to give myself a damn good talking to. "Tiz" I said, "if you don't stop wanting to smack everyone's face right this minute, I'll smack your stupid face"! So I went and had a look at the kittens to calm myself down [one of my cats had three kittens recently]. And then I came back and read your post Ephe. And I laughed so much. Thank you.

Btw I don't think I commented on your Bartolotti joke but it didn't bother me. As I mentioned yesterday, yahyah's comment about me calling Dorothy the Dotty Mare did make me stop and think that maybe I shouldn't call her that. Can't promise though. I've never claimed to be a saint.

Now that I no longer want to smack anyone's stupid face [not even my own], shall we all try again?

rebeccariots2 · Post by **rebeccariots2** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:14 pm

David Schneider ‏@davidschneider 7m7 minutes ago
"Hi, foreign country. I'm Grant Shapps, the new Minister for International Development and I can show you how to get rich in 10 easy steps."

tinyclanger2 · Post by **tinyclanger2** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:17 pm

opcyjfobidgasayfwgw

Thanks.

PorFavor · Post by **PorFavor** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:19 pm

@Tizme

Glad you're not going to slap my face. But are you saying it's a stupid face? (We're back to the taking innocent posts the wrong way)!

Glad you're staying. You'd have been stupid to leave. But you're not. Leaving, that is. Or stupid.

(Now you can see why I do so much obsessive editing and puctuation!)

PorFavor · Post by **PorFavor** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:19 pm

@Tizme

Glad you're not going to slap my face. But are you saying it's a stupid face? (We're back to the taking innocent posts the wrong way)!

Glad you're staying. You'd have been stupid to leave. But you're not. Leaving, that is. Or stupid.

(Now you can see why I do so much obsessive editing and puctuation!)

AngryAsWell · Post by **AngryAsWell** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:20 pm

tinyclanger2 wrote:opcyjfobidgasayfwgw

Thanks.

I actually thought that was Welsh and googled it

PorFavor · Post by **PorFavor** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:20 pm

@Tizme

Glad you're not going to slap my face. But are you saying it's a stupid face? (We're back to the taking innocent posts the wrong way)!

Glad you're staying. You'd have been stupid to leave. But you're not. Leaving, that is. Or stupid.

(Now you can see why I do so much obsessive editing and puctuation!)

PorFavor · Post by **PorFavor** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:21 pm

What happened there!? One member - two posts.

tinyclanger2 · Post by **tinyclanger2** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:22 pm

cf: welsh

cf: PF multiple posting (

)

rebeccariots2 · Post by **rebeccariots2** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:22 pm

Are you alright PF?

There's repeating yourself and then going on and on and on, you know.

Sorry - I think FTN hit a slow mo there - I had trouble posting too. Maybe Dan is having a tinker behind the scenes.

tinyclanger2 · Post by **tinyclanger2** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:23 pm

PorFavor wrote:What happened there!? One member - two posts.

Or "three" as we like to call it.

seeingclearly · Post by **seeingclearly** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:24 pm

Temulkar wrote:
StephenDolan wrote:
PorFavor wrote: But I don't see how Ed Miliband's plans didn't meet those criteria. What didn't he do?

Edited

Crieria. Dear God . . . .
They did overlap. Which brings it to the words used, filtering of medium transmitted or the front man,or a combination thereof. Frank polling is needed.

They're sick pf proffesional politicians, which they dont see the Fuhrage as. Labours best bet is that the grandees get down on their hands and knees and beg Dan Jarvis to stand and throw everything the party has behind him. Because he is the only one you have who will coonnect with those voters. Give him anything and everything he needs to do the job.

I like Hunt (he's hopefully reviewing my book) but him Umana, Eagle and the rest will turn off the voters you need back.

I hear something very similar every day and have done for several years. I tried to explain today about this but all these people to the right or the left the ask for the same and identify themselves in the same way. I.e. They want something that represents the working class, something real. They couldn't equate Ed with that, all the grooming was a waste it appealed to only a few. Essentially they want a latter day Skinner, or Glenda, or even if you stretch back a bit a Mo Mowlam type, something not posher up. Umunna was comprehensively dismissed, the appearance of Mandeksohn and Blair raised their ire, burnham and Jarvis were liked but much less analysis than here. If there is anywhere a great ranter, rager, truth teller, protector, promise keeper, that's who they want. And a risk taker, but their way. A leader out of the wilderness, Moses/Joan of Arc. I think that's why they like Sturgeon. I don't think they saw Ed like that. I keep remembering Cameron and his cynically rolled up sleeves. He might be full of shit but he knows his audience. Get them what they want and mostly they'll be appeased, Blair is still a huge factor. Get them what they want and the policies they want, that a different matter. Right and left and never the twain......

Another thing they aren't fussed about pretty at all.

You almost need to discard any pre conceptions and go to them and say in an ideal world what would you like. And just listen. They don't want to be told they want to be heard. What they want back is something nones trying to get them, work if you can and social security if you can't. And a few more, like council houses, nationalised services. All the lefty stuff that politicians think we can't have.

ohsocynical · Post by **ohsocynical** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:25 pm

Norman Lamb ‏@normanlamb 24 mins24 minutes ago Norwich, England

I’m standing to become leader of the Liberal Democrats. Support me with just three clicks! http://backnorman.co.uk

Edited to add: Hope springs eternal...

PorFavor · Post by **PorFavor** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:29 pm

rebeccariots2 wrote:Are you alright PF?

There's repeating yourself and then going on and on and on, you know.

Sorry - I think FTN hit a slow mo there - I had trouble posting too. Maybe Dan is having a tinker behind the scenes.

Ha! I've said it before and I'll say it again . . . .

Tizme1 · Post by **Tizme1** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:37 pm

PorFavor wrote:@Tizme

Glad you're not going to slap my face. But are you saying it's a stupid face? (We're back to the taking innocent posts the wrong way)!

Glad you're staying. You'd have been stupid to leave. But you're not. Leaving, that is. Or stupid.

(Now you can see why I do so much obsessive editing and puctuation!)

I don't recall any urge to slap your face PorFavor. Stupid or otherwise. I am fairly sure there is only one stupid face and that is the aforementioned Richard Harrington. Or Rich Harrington as I like to call him. Others call him Dick.

Do you want me to answer three times btw? Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me [to] twice on the pipe if the answer is no.

tinyclanger2 · Post by **tinyclanger2** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:41 pm

RobertSnozers wrote:
rebeccariots2 wrote:
Tim Shipman ‏@ShippersUnbound 3m3 minutes ago
Explaining Shapps move. Senior Tory: "The campaign was run by Crosby, Textor & Gilbert reporting to Cameron & Osborne, paid for by Feldman."

Faisal Islam ‏@faisalislam 3m3 minutes ago
So party chairman oversees first majority win in 23 years... Gets demoted from Cabinet.
Unfortunately we're all out of colonies to send a new governor to.

Removed as humour doesn't translate well and I can't be arsed.

Hobiejoe · Post by **Hobiejoe** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:43 pm

RobertSnozers wrote:
rebeccariots2 wrote:
Tim Shipman ‏@ShippersUnbound 3m3 minutes ago
Explaining Shapps move. Senior Tory: "The campaign was run by Crosby, Textor & Gilbert reporting to Cameron & Osborne, paid for by Feldman."

Faisal Islam ‏@faisalislam 3m3 minutes ago
So party chairman oversees first majority win in 23 years... Gets demoted from Cabinet.
Unfortunately we're all out of colonies to send a new governor to.

I'm strongly of the opinion that South Georgia is very much in need of a permanent representative of HMG. Especially now that the Southern Ocean winter is setting in.

tinyclanger2 · Post by **tinyclanger2** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:45 pm

Removed for the same reason as above

Tizme1 · Post by **Tizme1** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:46 pm

RobertSnozers wrote:If smacking my stupid face would make anyone better, please feel free. It's really rather stupid

Is it as stupid as this? Though this isn't Rich's full on stupid face but it gives you an idea.

PorFavor · Post by **PorFavor** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:48 pm

PorFavor wrote:
rebeccariots2 wrote:Are you alright PF?

There's repeating yourself and then going on and on and on, you know.

Sorry - I think FTN hit a slow mo there - I had trouble posting too. Maybe Dan is having a tinker behind the scenes.

Ha! I've said it before and I'll say it again . . . .

I've just re-read your post. Having a what behind the scenes?

PorFavor · Post by **PorFavor** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:52 pm

tinyclanger2 wrote:Oh god. Should I remove my "joke" because it'll be taken as evidence that we're all evil imperialist Sassenachs who vote Tory and eat hamsters?

No, leave it. Too late to worry about our image now. Anyway, it's true, isn't it?

Tubby Isaacs · Post by **Tubby Isaacs** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:59 pm

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/201 ... referendum

David Cameron is drawing up plans to bring forward an in/out referendum on Britain’s membership of the European Union by a year to 2016 in order to avoid a politically dangerous clash with the French and German elections in 2017.

The mood now is definitely to accelerate the process and give us the option of holding the referendum in 2016
Government source
As the prime minister declared that he had a mandate from the electorate to renegotiate the terms of Britain’s membership, government sources said Downing Street was keen to move quickly on the timing of the referendum.

Incredible.

He must have known where the French and German elections were. Probably lying on that 2017 date then.

Or is this too kind?

Prime Ministerial.

ephemerid · Post by **ephemerid** » Mon 11 May, 2015 8:59 pm

There's a gremlin in this 'ere machine this eveningternooniewhatnot.

It's called Rusty (on account of headless chicken forgetting itself) and it's desperate for attention.

It can't troll us over there so it's come over here instead. It's bored too, as it keeps saying it wants us to watch some benefits programme.
I suspect the truth is it wants to watch it itself but wants us all to know it's on so it can troll about it a bit more. All our fault, it is.

Having been utterly convinced - now, missus, don't laugh, it's not funny - that Rusty was a demigod or world renowned leader of something or other on account of his/her/its deeply incisive intelligence - will you cease and desist from giggling in the back there - I am astonished to find that he/she/it is a FAN!!!!! OMG!!!!!!

So here we are, a bunch of stroppy old benefit-claiming wastrel living-in-the-past useless lefties (Rusty says we are so it must be true) and he/she/it and it's headless chicken thing is our NUMBER ONE FAN.
I am as astonished as you, my weirdie beardie leftie friends - but he/she/it has travelled a long way to get here, and we must not deny our new acolyte a proper resounding FTN welcome, I'm sure you'll all agree.

So - OhSo, get a cake sorted; yahyah, put that kettle on; AAW get out from behind that fridge and get some ostentatious breastfeeding going.
TGS - beers out of the cooler; all bloke-style FTNers are required to report for failing-to-light-the-barbie duty and our Green friends will dish out some, er, green salad while we wait for our honoured guest to arrive!

When it gets here, I am first with the custard pies. I have hundreds of 'em. Form an orderly queue.....

ephemerid · Post by **ephemerid** » Mon 11 May, 2015 9:05 pm

Hobiejoe wrote:
RobertSnozers wrote:
rebeccariots2 wrote:
Unfortunately we're all out of colonies to send a new governor to.
I'm strongly of the opinion that South Georgia is very much in need of a permanent representative of HMG. Especially now that the Southern Ocean winter is setting in.

Yeah but no but yeah but Hobiejoe.....

Can the Falklands (pop. 2,932) cope with such a massive influx of people?

There's Michael Green, Sebastian Fox, Chuck Champion, dear Mrs. Corinne Stockheath (of Surrey) and Grant V himself.

There aren't enough sheep to feed them all!

(There are in Wales but he can't come here. That Charlotte would brain him with her leftie champagne bottle)

ephemerid · Post by **ephemerid** » Mon 11 May, 2015 9:08 pm

PorFavor wrote:
PorFavor wrote:
rebeccariots2 wrote:Are you alright PF?

There's repeating yourself and then going on and on and on, you know.

Sorry - I think FTN hit a slow mo there - I had trouble posting too. Maybe Dan is having a tinker behind the scenes.

Ha! I've said it before and I'll say it again . . . .
I've just re-read your post. Having a what behind the scenes?

I had no idea Our Dan was that way inclined.

A TINKER? I thought we had people in shops monging iron nowadays.....

Tizme1 · Post by **Tizme1** » Mon 11 May, 2015 9:08 pm

ephemerid wrote:There's a gremlin in this 'ere machine this eveningternooniewhatnot.

It's called Rusty (on account of headless chicken forgetting itself) and it's desperate for attention.

It can't troll us over there so it's come over here instead. It's bored too, as it keeps saying it wants us to watch some benefits programme.
I suspect the truth is it wants to watch it itself but wants us all to know it's on so it can troll about it a bit more. All our fault, it is.

Having been utterly convinced - now, missus, don't laugh, it's not funny - that Rusty was a demigod or world renowned leader of something or other on account of his/her/its deeply incisive intelligence - will you cease and desist from giggling in the back there - I am astonished to find that he/she/it is a FAN!!!!! OMG!!!!!!

So here we are, a bunch of stroppy old benefit-claiming wastrel living-in-the-past useless lefties (Rusty says we are so it must be true) and he/she/it and it's headless chicken thing is our NUMBER ONE FAN.
I am as astonished as you, my weirdie beardie leftie friends - but he/she/it has travelled a long way to get here, and we must not deny our new acolyte a proper resounding FTN welcome, I'm sure you'll all agree.

So - OhSo, get a cake sorted; yahyah, put that kettle on; AAW get out from behind that fridge and get some ostentatious breastfeeding going.
TGS - beers out of the cooler; all bloke-style FTNers are required to report for failing-to-light-the-barbie duty and our Green friends will dish out some, er, green salad while we wait for our honoured guest to arrive!

When it gets here, I am first with the custard pies. I have hundreds of 'em. Form an orderly queue.....

I could knit some spaghetti Ephe will that suit? Or maybe I could knock up a delicious healthy lentil curry. I'm so excited - is there time to change into a clean kaftan and my good[ish] sandals?

Eric_WLothian · Post by **Eric_WLothian** » Mon 11 May, 2015 9:10 pm

PorFavor wrote:
tinyclanger2 wrote:Oh god. Should I remove my "joke" because it'll be taken as evidence that we're all evil imperialist Sassenachs who vote Tory and eat hamsters?
No, leave it. Too late to worry about our image now. Anyway, it's true, isn't it?

Right... That's it... enough's enough...
I was thinking of joining the LP - Now I'm off to join the SNP...

RogerOThornhill · Post by **RogerOThornhill** » Mon 11 May, 2015 9:13 pm

Tubby Isaacs wrote:http://www.theguardian.com/politics/201 ... referendum

David Cameron is drawing up plans to bring forward an in/out referendum on Britain’s membership of the European Union by a year to 2016 in order to avoid a politically dangerous clash with the French and German elections in 2017.

The mood now is definitely to accelerate the process and give us the option of holding the referendum in 2016
Government source
As the prime minister declared that he had a mandate from the electorate to renegotiate the terms of Britain’s membership, government sources said Downing Street was keen to move quickly on the timing of the referendum.
Incredible.

He must have known where the French and German elections were. Probably lying on that 2017 date then.

Or is this too kind?

Prime Ministerial.

Unless he's been told that it's better only to have only one year of jitters from investors rather than two.

Can't see him getting much in a year from the EU - unless of course he'll claim that he's got something but he can't tell us what it is.

ohsocynical · Post by **ohsocynical** » Mon 11 May, 2015 9:15 pm

ephemerid wrote:There's a gremlin in this 'ere machine this eveningternooniewhatnot.

It's called Rusty (on account of headless chicken forgetting itself) and it's desperate for attention.

It can't troll us over there so it's come over here instead. It's bored too, as it keeps saying it wants us to watch some benefits programme.
I suspect the truth is it wants to watch it itself but wants us all to know it's on so it can troll about it a bit more. All our fault, it is.

Having been utterly convinced - now, missus, don't laugh, it's not funny - that Rusty was a demigod or world renowned leader of something or other on account of his/her/its deeply incisive intelligence - will you cease and desist from giggling in the back there - I am astonished to find that he/she/it is a FAN!!!!! OMG!!!!!!

So here we are, a bunch of stroppy old benefit-claiming wastrel living-in-the-past useless lefties (Rusty says we are so it must be true) and he/she/it and it's headless chicken thing is our NUMBER ONE FAN.
I am as astonished as you, my weirdie beardie leftie friends - but he/she/it has travelled a long way to get here, and we must not deny our new acolyte a proper resounding FTN welcome, I'm sure you'll all agree.

So - OhSo, get a cake sorted; yahyah, put that kettle on; AAW get out from behind that fridge and get some ostentatious breastfeeding going.
TGS - beers out of the cooler; all bloke-style FTNers are required to report for failing-to-light-the-barbie duty and our Green friends will dish out some, er, green salad while we wait for our honoured guest to arrive!

When it gets here, I am first with the custard pies. I have hundreds of 'em. Form an orderly queue.....

Being rather young for his age, would he prefer fairy cakes?

TechnicalEphemera · Post by **TechnicalEphemera** » Mon 11 May, 2015 9:16 pm

Tubby Isaacs wrote:http://www.theguardian.com/politics/201 ... referendum

David Cameron is drawing up plans to bring forward an in/out referendum on Britain’s membership of the European Union by a year to 2016 in order to avoid a politically dangerous clash with the French and German elections in 2017.

The mood now is definitely to accelerate the process and give us the option of holding the referendum in 2016
Government source
As the prime minister declared that he had a mandate from the electorate to renegotiate the terms of Britain’s membership, government sources said Downing Street was keen to move quickly on the timing of the referendum.
Incredible.

He must have known where the French and German elections were. Probably lying on that 2017 date then.

Or is this too kind?

Prime Ministerial.

Well he clearly has realised he is going to get bugger all in the shape of concessions from the EU. Which was the original reason for 2017. Bringing it forward to 2016 won't give him any time to negotiate.

By 2017 he would also be at his nadir in terms of popularity so not a great idea.

However I suggest such a move is excellent news. His party is going to rip itself to pieces over this. If he wins his party will split, if he loses he will be forced to quit.

60-100 Tory MPs will not accept in as the answer. They may even try to depose him if he campaigns to stay in.

AngryAsWell · Post by **AngryAsWell** » Mon 11 May, 2015 9:21 pm

ephemerid wrote:There's a gremlin in this 'ere machine this eveningternooniewhatnot.

It's called Rusty (on account of headless chicken forgetting itself) and it's desperate for attention.

It can't troll us over there so it's come over here instead. It's bored too, as it keeps saying it wants us to watch some benefits programme.
I suspect the truth is it wants to watch it itself but wants us all to know it's on so it can troll about it a bit more. All our fault, it is.

Having been utterly convinced - now, missus, don't laugh, it's not funny - that Rusty was a demigod or world renowned leader of something or other on account of his/her/its deeply incisive intelligence - will you cease and desist from giggling in the back there - I am astonished to find that he/she/it is a FAN!!!!! OMG!!!!!!

So here we are, a bunch of stroppy old benefit-claiming wastrel living-in-the-past useless lefties (Rusty says we are so it must be true) and he/she/it and it's headless chicken thing is our NUMBER ONE FAN.
I am as astonished as you, my weirdie beardie leftie friends - but he/she/it has travelled a long way to get here, and we must not deny our new acolyte a proper resounding FTN welcome, I'm sure you'll all agree.

So - OhSo, get a cake sorted; yahyah, put that kettle on; AAW get out from behind that fridge and get some ostentatious breastfeeding going.
TGS - beers out of the cooler; all bloke-style FTNers are required to report for failing-to-light-the-barbie duty and our Green friends will dish out some, er, green salad while we wait for our honoured guest to arrive!

When it gets here, I am first with the custard pies. I have hundreds of 'em. Form an orderly queue.....

*crawls in wiping stray spiders webs and dust from forehead ...
Too old for ostentatious breastfeeding mam, I'm leaving that to the young un's.
Can't stay, have a night shift at poundland to do to pay for me benefits. Enjoy the food, just the smell of that spaghetti will keep me fed for a day or two. Thank 'ee very much mam, I am so humbly grateful to ya all.

Tizme1 · Post by **Tizme1** » Mon 11 May, 2015 9:22 pm

TechnicalEphemera wrote:
Tubby Isaacs wrote:http://www.theguardian.com/politics/201 ... referendum

David Cameron is drawing up plans to bring forward an in/out referendum on Britain’s membership of the European Union by a year to 2016 in order to avoid a politically dangerous clash with the French and German elections in 2017.

The mood now is definitely to accelerate the process and give us the option of holding the referendum in 2016
Government source
As the prime minister declared that he had a mandate from the electorate to renegotiate the terms of Britain’s membership, government sources said Downing Street was keen to move quickly on the timing of the referendum.
Incredible.

He must have known where the French and German elections were. Probably lying on that 2017 date then.

Or is this too kind?

Prime Ministerial.
Well he clearly has realised he is going to get bugger all in the shape of concessions from the EU. Which was the original reason for 2017. Bringing it forward to 2016 won't give him any time to negotiate.

By 2017 he would also be at his nadir in terms of popularity so not a great idea.

However I suggest such a move is excellent news. His party is going to rip itself to pieces over this. If he wins his party will split, if he loses he will be forced to quit.

60-100 Tory MPs will not accept in as the answer. They may even try to depose him if he campaigns to stay in.

Which just goes to prove the old saying, where there's life, there's hope. Though we all know where to find hope anyway - just north of Peterborough.

ephemerid · Post by **ephemerid** » Mon 11 May, 2015 9:26 pm

Tizme1 wrote:
ephemerid wrote:There's a gremlin in this 'ere machine this eveningternooniewhatnot.

It's called Rusty (on account of headless chicken forgetting itself) and it's desperate for attention.

It can't troll us over there so it's come over here instead. It's bored too, as it keeps saying it wants us to watch some benefits programme.
I suspect the truth is it wants to watch it itself but wants us all to know it's on so it can troll about it a bit more. All our fault, it is.

Having been utterly convinced - now, missus, don't laugh, it's not funny - that Rusty was a demigod or world renowned leader of something or other on account of his/her/its deeply incisive intelligence - will you cease and desist from giggling in the back there - I am astonished to find that he/she/it is a FAN!!!!! OMG!!!!!!

So here we are, a bunch of stroppy old benefit-claiming wastrel living-in-the-past useless lefties (Rusty says we are so it must be true) and he/she/it and it's headless chicken thing is our NUMBER ONE FAN.
I am as astonished as you, my weirdie beardie leftie friends - but he/she/it has travelled a long way to get here, and we must not deny our new acolyte a proper resounding FTN welcome, I'm sure you'll all agree.

So - OhSo, get a cake sorted; yahyah, put that kettle on; AAW get out from behind that fridge and get some ostentatious breastfeeding going.
TGS - beers out of the cooler; all bloke-style FTNers are required to report for failing-to-light-the-barbie duty and our Green friends will dish out some, er, green salad while we wait for our honoured guest to arrive!

When it gets here, I am first with the custard pies. I have hundreds of 'em. Form an orderly queue.....
I could knit some spaghetti Ephe will that suit? Or maybe I could knock up a delicious healthy lentil curry. I'm so excited - is there time to change into a clean kaftan and my good[ish] sandals?

No.

Spaghetti knits itself. Mine never fail to do this all on its own in the pot. Clever coves, those Italians.
I don't like lentils much. It's the little stones that put me off.....

Green salads is fine. Lots of cucumber. And yogurt dressing.
We need something cooling to -
a) apply to Rusty's wounds when TGS has done his duty and beaten him to a pulp; and
b) soothe our vicious vicious tongues having burnt them on the chops which will be immolated by bloke-cooking in the traditional way.

The cabaret custard pie throwing contest will be run as follows -
I go first, because I'm the inventor of this unmissable event in the FTN social calendar (if in doubt, check the Tatler)
Next is TGS, because he hasn't been well and mustn't get too excited.
The OhSo, who is allowed to get really really close with at least 6 big pies - due to both seniority and cataracts.
Then it's a free-for-all, with Robert in charge of any life-threatening emergencies.

I want a real kaftan so much (seriously) that I am going to have to make one. Luckily for me they're easy to design and I've got some lovely fabrics.... all I need now is a sewing machine that doesn't keep blowing up. Can't afford a new one.

AngryAsWell · Post by **AngryAsWell** » Mon 11 May, 2015 9:26 pm

From British Influence http://www.britishinfluence.org/
Hey, there!

We've been pacing ourselves recently as we waited for the result of the general election. The last few weeks and months have been spent putting in place the foundations needed to launch a referendum campaign. We're getting in touch now to get you up to speed on what happens next and to answer some of the questions we've been receiving.

Is British Influence *the* referendum campaign?
Not alone. A new organisation will be launched with the support and input of various pro-European organisations. British Influence is playing an important role in this process.

Who else is involved?
We are currently partnered with the European Movement and Business for New Europe. Between us we have developed a diverse network of supporters ranging from businesses to environmental charities as well as thousands of pro-Europeans like yourself.

Where do I fit in?
As we all move to the campaign launch we'll let you know how to get involved. These things take time. Ensuring that we launch an effective, accountable and inclusive campaign is a top priority for all involved. We’ll obviously keep you informed with our daily email, europewatch and also through our facebook and twitter accounts. In the meantime, you can help us spread our message through social media and we’ll help you keep an eye on the various grassroots campaigns that have sprung up in the last few days such as 'Scientists for EU' and student led campaigns like 'Britain Stays In'.

How serious is the threat of Brexit?
It's pretty serious. Despite recording a steady increase in support for Britain's EU membership this election has shown us how volatile polling can be. We cannot afford to be complacent. This campaign will have to be as educational as it will be inspirational. For the last twenty years some extraordinary myths and lies have been permitted to flourish without challenge. It's going to be tough to get the truth out there.

What's next?
The first big milestone is the passing of the referendum bill in parliament. This bill will detail the scope of the franchise (whether there will be votes for 16 year olds, British Citizens abroad and/or European citizens resident in the UK) the timeline for the referendum (2017, but perhaps earlier) and how the question on the ballot paper will be phrased (are we saying Yes to stay in Europe or No). These are big political and moral questions and it is down to us to ensure that this referendum is both 'free and fair'. Again, we’ll keep you posted on getting you involved.

Finally, we would like to thank you for your continuing support and your patience as we prepare for the political battle of a lifetime.

Regards

James, Digital Campaigns Officer
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TechnicalEphemera · Post by **TechnicalEphemera** » Mon 11 May, 2015 9:26 pm

Tizme1 wrote:
TechnicalEphemera wrote:
Tubby Isaacs wrote:http://www.theguardian.com/politics/201 ... referendum
Incredible.

He must have known where the French and German elections were. Probably lying on that 2017 date then.

Or is this too kind?

Prime Ministerial.
Well he clearly has realised he is going to get bugger all in the shape of concessions from the EU. Which was the original reason for 2017. Bringing it forward to 2016 won't give him any time to negotiate.

By 2017 he would also be at his nadir in terms of popularity so not a great idea.

However I suggest such a move is excellent news. His party is going to rip itself to pieces over this. If he wins his party will split, if he loses he will be forced to quit.

60-100 Tory MPs will not accept in as the answer. They may even try to depose him if he campaigns to stay in.
Which just goes to prove the old saying, where there's life, there's hope. Though we all know where to find hope anyway - just north of Peterborough.

Indeed, one day I intend to visit and take one of those brain-dead photograph in front of the town name sign.

Tubby Isaacs · Post by **Tubby Isaacs** » Mon 11 May, 2015 9:28 pm

Tizme1 wrote:

Which just goes to prove the old saying, where there's life, there's hope. Though we all know where to find hope anyway - just north of Peterborough.

Indeed.

And with London as a very honourable exception.

rebeccariots2 · Post by **rebeccariots2** » Mon 11 May, 2015 9:28 pm

Robert Hutton ‏@RobDotHutton 34s35 seconds ago
Carswell Unendorses Farage Unresignation. Includes chase down stairs, and Carswell refusing to say he's still in UKIP http://bloom.bg/1F2M8t7

Blimey.

TheGrimSqueaker · Post by **TheGrimSqueaker** » Mon 11 May, 2015 9:45 pm

ephemerid wrote:
Hobiejoe wrote:
RobertSnozers wrote: Unfortunately we're all out of colonies to send a new governor to.
I'm strongly of the opinion that South Georgia is very much in need of a permanent representative of HMG. Especially now that the Southern Ocean winter is setting in.

Yeah but no but yeah but Hobiejoe.....

Can the Falklands (pop. 2,932) cope with such a massive influx of people?

There's Michael Green, Sebastian Fox, Chuck Champion, dear Mrs. Corinne Stockheath (of Surrey) and Grant V himself.

There aren't enough sheep to feed them all!

(There are in Wales but he can't come here. That Charlotte would brain him with her leftie champagne bottle)

Prosecco sweety, champagne is so petit bourgeois.