FlyTheNest

I've got glasses for the first time in my life because it had got to the stage where I couldn't focus on anything past about six feet away.

So I went to Specsavers. And had a rather charming girl give me an eye test and because I qualified for an NHS voucher I only ended up paying a tenner for my specs. Which is marvelous.

What isn't marvelous is my glasses magnify the world in front of me, which is good as far as fixing my rubbish vision, but bad when it comes to my brain knowing what's going on. I feel like I've shrunk and am at a weird angle and my feet don't know what's going on. Which makes sense because the ground in front of me now looks closer so my brain thinks I'm smaller, and the lenses make it look at a different angle so I feel like I'm tipping forward. it's most off-putting, but the worst is my feet are all over the place. One step tries to go too far the other not far enough so I'm stumbling around because I'm not just looking through the glasses, my peripheral vision is still telling my brain that all is as it was so there's a conflict going on.

Anyway it's doing my head in.



Ha ha, look at my giant face. And what's that on my jumper? I'm guessing the remains of a sandwich.

I managed an entire day long gig pissed wearing these stupid but marvelous things. There was a glitterball above the stage and I stood transfixed at one point watching the reflections playing through the dry ice. It was beautiful. At other moments I used my new ocular acuity to check out cute girls who were young enough to be my daughter. At no point however did I try to fondle them or get my dick out and offer them a tenner. I just wanted to take them home and put them on a shelf and say 'look at you, aren't you cute?'

Mostly I don't want to be younger when the question arises, but when it comes to women....yes, make me 20 years younger so I can fail to impress exactly the same kind of women I failed to impress last time round.

My vision is getting worse
The glasses I've worn for years are heavy
I've yet to research or discuss alternatives to specs (like laser surgery or contact lenses)
Fortunately, my distance vision isn't too bad

You're used to them then, imagine suddenly having to shove some weird lenses in front of your eyes that distort reality.

I'm actually impressed how quickly my brain has laid down new neural pathways after triyng to make me take the glasses off by making me feel sick.

My right eye doesn't work properly, Specsavers seem to have fucked up, I'm getting a headache above my eye on the right almost continuouosly now.