If you want a lot of people at your funeral...

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Sky'sGoneOut
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If you want a lot of people at your funeral...

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

Become an alcoholic.

I went to my Uncle's funeral last Wednesday, he was my Dad's only brother and had been an alcoholic for nigh on 50 years. It cost him his job, his wife and the respect of his children. But there were nigh on 150 people at the crematorium. They couldn't all fit into the room while a humanist lady described his life euphemistically.

Every pub in the village had sent its group of mourners, along with the cricket and fishing clubs. He'd obviously been a customer of them all while wearing his various massive poncho's. My Uncle was awesome.

Anyway, at the wake at the cricket club my cousin Jim who works in Canada with computers paid for a free bar for family members, my Mum and Dad were there and I managed not to make a cunt of myself. Then on the train home to Leeds I accidentally got off the train at wakefield.

I used to go out with a Swedish girl who lived there so presumably that's why it seemed familiar to my tired drunken brain. Anyway there was a last train back to Leeds in 10 minutes which I managed to catch.

After getting back to Leeds I got a taxi home then slipped spectacularly on the stones in the drive, landing it would seem on the little finger of my left hand. Which now looks like a fat little purple sausage.

I have no idea what the moral of this story is.
ohsocynical
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Joined: Mon 25 Aug, 2014 9:10 pm

Re: If you want a lot of people at your funeral...

Post by ohsocynical »

Sky'sGoneOut wrote:Become an alcoholic.

I went to my Uncle's funeral last Wednesday, he was my Dad's only brother and had been an alcoholic for nigh on 50 years. It cost him his job, his wife and the respect of his children. But there were nigh on 150 people at the crematorium. They couldn't all fit into the room while a humanist lady described his life euphemistically.

Every pub in the village had sent its group of mourners, along with the cricket and fishing clubs. He'd obviously been a customer of them all while wearing his various massive poncho's. My Uncle was awesome.

Anyway, at the wake at the cricket club my cousin Jim who works in Canada with computers paid for a free bar for family members, my Mum and Dad were there and I managed not to make a cunt of myself. Then on the train home to Leeds I accidentally got off the train at wakefield.

I used to go out with a Swedish girl who lived there so presumably that's why it seemed familiar to my tired drunken brain. Anyway there was a last train back to Leeds in 10 minutes which I managed to catch.

After getting back to Leeds I got a taxi home then slipped spectacularly on the stones in the drive, landing it would seem on the little finger of my left hand. Which now looks like a fat little purple sausage.

I have no idea what the moral of this story is.
Do you think your uncle would have nodded his head, and said been there, done that?
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. – Aesop
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: If you want a lot of people at your funeral...

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

Image

I'm left handed.

So I'm fucked for the next six weeks.
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: If you want a lot of people at your funeral...

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

Do you think your uncle would have nodded his head, and said been there, done that?
Maybe, but he had kids and a wife.

He had responsibilities.

I don't.

[youtube]3dugZU0QCYg[/youtube]
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: If you want a lot of people at your funeral...

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

My uncle George took acid, smoked weed, wore ponchos and generally was a pretty cool guy as far as I was concerned.

[youtube]ztKNzjgshfY[/youtube]
ohsocynical
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Re: If you want a lot of people at your funeral...

Post by ohsocynical »

Sky'sGoneOut wrote:
Do you think your uncle would have nodded his head, and said been there, done that?
Maybe, but he had kids and a wife.

He had responsibilities.

I don't.

[youtube]3dugZU0QCYg[/youtube]
Fair comment. I hadn't thought of that.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. – Aesop
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