Fuck me it's hot.

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Sky'sGoneOut
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Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

I got stuck on a bus in Kirkstall in Leeds for 40 minutes during rush hour while the Sun blazed mercilessly through the windows. It was hell, I sweated through places I didn't even know could sweat. Even my arms were dripping. And the less said about my general groin/boxer short interface the better.

I started teaching Autistic kids basic IT yesterday. Seriously some improbably enthusiastic girl from Scope decided yours truly was responsible enough to deal with 10 to 12 year olds across the Autistic spectrum. I had to have a DBS check and have a single day of induction and 'training' and then I was good to go.

And it was brilliant. I loved it. I got them to find pictures they liked online and asked them to try to recreate or embellish them using Windows paint. What could be simpler? And they seemed to enjoy it as I capered around like a fool. Like Timothy Claypole from Rentaghost but without the Aids.

The only weirdness was one kid called Michael with Aspergers who wouldn't use the computers at all. So I gave him some coloured pens and paper and said "Ok you draw what you like" and he drew what I think was a representation of me (I dress in black and he'd drawn a crude figure in black) which had weird lightning things stabbing at its head.

It kind of reminded me of The Omen.

We shall see.
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

Oh and I met a teacher in the pub tonight called Fin, a splendid chap of Leftie persuasion, I even pointed him to this forum.

In these interesting times it's best we stick together.
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

Nephew happens to be autistic.Excellent that you enjoyed your teaching.Agree about the heat I never knew balls could drop so low to maintain 35 Degree temperature,mine were trying to get some ice cubes,they have a mind of their own.Keep safe.


I am taking the heading as descriptive rather than request.
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

[youtube]4LicRs6WXVo[/youtube]

When I was a kid this kind of thing was forbidden.
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

Once an artificial intelligence gains sentience we're fucked.
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

Noticed I am Prime Minister.I did tell anybody that would listen when I became politicised at an early age of being PM by 50,a little behind schedule and ironically for the first time in a while actually younger than the pretend one.Now to policies.

Abolishment of The Office of the Prime Minister.


Well that was easy.
ohsocynical
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by ohsocynical »

Sky'sGoneOut wrote:I got stuck on a bus in Kirkstall in Leeds for 40 minutes during rush hour while the Sun blazed mercilessly through the windows. It was hell, I sweated through places I didn't even know could sweat. Even my arms were dripping. And the less said about my general groin/boxer short interface the better.

I started teaching Autistic kids basic IT yesterday. Seriously some improbably enthusiastic girl from Scope decided yours truly was responsible enough to deal with 10 to 12 year olds across the Autistic spectrum. I had to have a DBS check and have a single day of induction and 'training' and then I was good to go.

And it was brilliant. I loved it. I got them to find pictures they liked online and asked them to try to recreate or embellish them using Windows paint. What could be simpler? And they seemed to enjoy it as I capered around like a fool. Like Timothy Claypole from Rentaghost but without the Aids.

The only weirdness was one kid called Michael with Aspergers who wouldn't use the computers at all. So I gave him some coloured pens and paper and said "Ok you draw what you like" and he drew what I think was a representation of me (I dress in black and he'd drawn a crude figure in black) which had weird lightning things stabbing at its head.

It kind of reminded me of The Omen.

We shall see.
The biggest thing we've noticed with our autistic granddaughter is that she is very perceptive on peoples moods. She has a job recognising what moods mean, but she can spot if you're a bit distracted or not happy a mile away. Smiley faces drawn when they've done good go down well too. It was one of the first things she learnt at school.
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adam
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by adam »

Today I have mostly been being stung by a bee. Twenty quid for a jar of honey!

No actually it was a wasp, once on my neck, buzzing around my neckline which made me rip my top off and run around, and then slowly check over my top to make sure it had gone, then putting my top back on and going inside, then realising the fucker was still there and this time, as I tried to get rid of it, it flew into my ear and stung me there. I generally jumped around shouting, broke a stool that had been made by my wife's great grandmother and gave my daughter a full-on panic attack.

So not the best day, all in all.
I still believe in a town called Hope
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

Sorry to hear that,Adam.Never sure about the bee/wasp thing but I disturbed a nest of whatever they were last year they had camped in the compost bin,bloody hundreds or seemed like it,deafened by the buzzing.Thankfully didn't get stung and powdered where we assumed where the Queen was over a few days and eventually got rid of them.There were carcases everywhere.Still treat compost bin with caution.I suppose one consolation it could have been other parts of your anatomy.Hope your daughter is o.k.and neck/ear stop stinging/swelling or whatever happens after a wasp attack.
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adam
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by adam »

It surprisingly didn't hurt, once I'd calmed down and started to think about it. I was stung a couple of times as a kid (in a completely ordinary 'there is nothing at all special, distinctive or interesting about this story' way) which helped to give me something of a phobia of wee beasties. However, I'm so dosed up on anti-histamine all of the time I suspect that helped it not hurt / swell / fall off. Girly was fine once she'd got first very cross with me and then at least a little bit sympathetic.
I still believe in a town called Hope
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

I just walked nearly 20 miles of the Calderdale Way.

See how happy this endeavour made me, even with wine.

Image

At the end I was sweating beyond anything I've ever known before and I felt spaced out and weird and like I was about to collapse in a pitiful heap. But yet I live and here I am, still alive. Just.

To be honest most of it was walking past sheep then getting into little villages and wondering about the house prices.

And I couldn't get any WIFI on my phone which was annoying.
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

Bloody clever sheep though for taking the picture.

I find it possible to go into a trance like state with exercise,a feeling of serenity,it doesn't always last very long,it is hard fought for,and you don't always achieve it,but boy is it worth it.Most of the time of course you are wondering what the fuck I am doing making a tit of myself,causing myself pain on an early Sunday morning,staggering around a City/village,avoiding bollards, cowpats and running into a lamppost or under a truck,when you could be reading the papers in bed.
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

After a humiliating attempt at a run in the park next door I ran on the spot for about a month as far as I remember before venturing forth again with any confidence.

Exercise is a rubbish drug, it makes you feel amazing then wears off pretty quickly.

A mix of alcohol and cannabis however...

[youtube]5ILpBKetj7E[/youtube]
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

That is an option no longer available,given how shall I put it,walking around a hospital.detox unit in your dressing gown telling everybody you are Sherlock Holmes and on holiday and believing it,that kind of thing.
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

But good luck to you,just dangerous to me.
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

Hindle my friend.

We need to go on holiday together.

Or some shit like that.
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

Some kind of adventure.
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

[youtube]NkahpQFTT-c[/youtube]
HindleA
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

Well,why not.
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

[youtube]NvSwGr3bFW0[/youtube]
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

[youtube]R7gWyKm3mrc[/youtube]
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

You can only try so hard
You can only give so much
You can only take so much
You can only pretend so much
She was your life
She was your purpose
She would want you to be happy
But you can't be without her
It's not self pity
It's a fact
A fact because of how good it was
Paying the price now
What if the only way you can be happy
Is not be here
When you have had it all
There's nowhere to go
It gets better they say
It doesn't
It just means it has been longer
Back in time
You are waiting for
Something that isn't going
to happen
There is always Someone missing
You don't want anybody else
You don't need anybody else

Keep going
Cherish the memory
Keep the flame alive
Don't let them ever forget
That's my purpose now

In sickness and in health
In this life and the next
Until whatever happens,happens to me




Together Forever
Last edited by HindleA on Wed 27 Jul, 2016 6:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

"A week is a long time in life"

To hospice and death
Was the thought
The ultimate betrayal
A 10 ton turd on the cake
Wrenched from your arms
When it matters
Strange people
Strange surroundings
Stolen with good intentions
Theft nevertheless
Indescribable.pain of the heart
Seven days later the news
"I'm coming home"
The indescribable joy
and relief


Of the promise kept
Last edited by HindleA on Tue 23 Aug, 2016 12:15 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

Ephemerid the Warrior Queen with a heart of gold and the verbal capacity of the proverbial fishwife when appropriate asked me say hello.Hello.
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by ephemerid »

Good Morrow, chaps and chapesses.

Warrior Queen? Deffo. I've got a chariot and everything. And followers. They have to walk, mind.

Hindle, I will blister you with invective should you refer to me as a fishwife again. I'm a Queen and can say what I like.

Re, exercise. Millions of aeons ago, I swam for my country. Well, nearly. I was in the national squad, but wasn't quite good enough to get in to the team for international meets. I had the shoulders of a navvy, and it took years for them to be normal....
But - I got a real high from some of the training. Sometimes the "wall" - when you think you're dying but the coach makes you work harder - was hell, but I felt amaaaaazing afterwards. These days, it's all about the codeine.....
"Poverty is the worst form of violence" - Mahatma Gandhi
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

Yes,I remember your mention of your swimming.My nephew was also a swimmer,it.is a relentless ridiculous regime of training which he did from an early age.Similar level to you,a few years ago it would of been good enough for Country representation but there is so much competiton now,which is good.Having seen some of the youngsters I don't think they are actually human,some of them have flippers as.feet.He has retired now at 17,he has got a girlfriend so he other pursuits,after ten years of getting up at half past four I think he deserves it. ,
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by mbc1955 »

It's not hot in Stockport right now, in fact it's raining. Between the stresses and strains of work and places closer to home, I've taken an emergency day off work and come home. But first I had to visit the Post Office in the precinct and I couldn't help but appreciate the irony that the song that started up as soon as I walked in was by The Lovin' Spoonful. Yes, that one: Summer in the City.
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

Destress,distress,disease,dis-ease,I started off with a point of what I thought was of profound and hopefully helpful significance,it went somewhere.I hope you feel better/less stressed soon.
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by mbc1955 »

I intend to neither do nor think anything until tomorrow.

It will be a great help.
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

Welcome Ephemerid to my nonsense.

You're an absolute fucking star.
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

Witness my further obvious enjoyment at walking a considerable distance the other way round the Calderdale Way today.

Image

Oh what fun! Look at the joy in my countenance. What a happy chap I am.

On that table someone had carved 'Polish mafia'. In the middle of fucking nowhere.

Ah well at least if any of us need anything polishing in a hurry we know who to go to.
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

At least I didn't see any kids trying to catch digital monsters. Just horses and cows and sheep and an awesome scrapyard with and old BMW Touring Car that I was allowed to get in and pretend I was driving.
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

Even with company and a crowd giving you jelly babies and cheering you harder the more crap you get which is a strange experience,a sort of well done for getting this far and not keeling over,it can indeed be a bit boring doing long distances even if you surprisingly find yourself ,how shall I put it not a having an unsatisfactory view of the female body,particularly bouncy parts of the anatomy,the fact that the part of you that distinquishes you as male being shrivelled to virtual non existence(not that there was that much to start with)not withstanding.Is there somebody with you that takes the pictures,I presume so oe the camera appears to be levitating,or perhaps a.helpful passing horse.
You could put these walks/pictures together and publish them ""Me and my bottle of Wine-a travelogue"
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

One of these days I'll sort out my money and my life thgn....
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

To be honest Hindle 'getting this far and not kneeling over' is kind of what I do. One step after the next, just keep going regardless of the nonsense.

The person taking the pictures is my mate Paul who is even weirder and more fucked up than I am. I've just come back from the pub we used to frequent together and the barmaid, Belle (gorgeous 28 year old fine arts drop out does the odd bit of Burlesque) was asking where my weird friend was. He can remember any Seventies advert you care to mention but is absolutely fucking useless when it comes to the simplest of tasks. For example, he's just bought a house and was complaining that the hot water didn't work. So after an hour's bus ride and a half mile walk I turned up and realised after 30 seconds that he hadn't turned it on at the boiler. He was talking of getting in British Gas and all it took was pressing the switch that said 'HW'. But he's awesome at 'Only Connect'.

Anyway I'm off around Cheshire and Wales in a couple of weeks on my own, my brother's off to Canada so I'm going to house sit his place for a week and explore the area, so you might get some vaguely interesting pictures of stuff without me in them, or more likely drunk selfies of me sitting in front of pubs.
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

A belated response.I have only just discovered your last post.Avoiding all the hate,just shows no amount of love man pretence layering on of self delusion van disquise that each of us is quite capable of lots of it.At times it seems to be expected as some sort of hate fest to the death.Enjoy your minstrel wanderings.I would say take a guitar but most likely that would end up through your head either by accident or somebody thinking it is the funniest thing in the world to do .Keep safe
Guest

Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Guest »

A belated response.I have only just discovered your last post.Avoiding all the hate,just shows no amount of love man pretence layering on of self delusion can disquise that each of us is quite capable of lots of it.At times it seems to be expected as some sort of hate fest to the death.Enjoy your minstrel wanderings.I would say take a guitar but most likely that would end up through your head either by accident or somebody thinking it is the funniest thing in the world to do .Keep safe
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

Am glad guest agrees with me
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

Image

I'm looking a bit pensive for some reason.

More importantly notice the mild paunch occuring in the gut area.

That's why I'm doing this shit, though maybe drinking red wine isn't the best way to get slim.

Fuck it.

My willpower is notoriously weak.
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adam
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by adam »

You need some exercise that will match your t-shirt.

[youtube]3_XswHm514w[/youtube]
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

I've now walked around a lot of Yorkshire and that's what it looks like. Grass and stone walls. It's quite boring. You find yourself following paths through fields and woodlands thinking "haven't I been here before" but no you haven't, it's just that everything just looks the same.

And I haven't seen a single bird of prey. Not one. Not even a Buzzard.

There's something odd going on there.
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

[youtube]3qEq4mAnV64[/youtube]
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by HindleA »

Not paunch ,relaxed muscle.Mine gets extremely relaxed.
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

That's the thing. After doing a shit load of sit ups I seem to have become fat. Presumably that's the belly flab riding on the top of actual muscle.

I saw something last week that said the only way to get rid of belly fat was to eat less.

I'll try if anyone else wants to give it a go.
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

Goodnight.

[youtube]lSychSVOSaI[/youtube]

I'm sure it will all work out fine in the end.
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

I go away for a couple of weeks and next thing I know this place doesn't work anymore.

What the fuck is going on?
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

I have a number of awesome holiday pictures to share such as this...

Image

That's a part of the river Weaver in Cheshire. It was split into various parts by ICI.

I've been trying to post the rest but to no avail.
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

A copy of an email I sent to a freind.

OK so after a couple of pints, and I must stress only a couple, I was wandering around this wood next to my brother's place when I saw a cool little beck down a bit of a minor ravine which was fenced off. You can already see where this is going. With utter predictability I climbed over the fence and attempted to make my way down the slope carefully. This is where things went wrong. It turned out the slope consisted of really soft sandstone, or in other words sand, which was in no way capable of taking my weight resulting in me instantly skidding down it on my arse. Within maybe a second or two however I ended up being pitched forward and watching helplessly as I flew towards a tree about halfway down. I managed to avoid the first branch before the second got me in the face, spinning me round so I smacked into the trunk with the side of my chest. This stopped me but also really fucking hurt. So there I was, blood pouring out of my head, unable to breath without agonising pain and stuck halfway down a ravine as it was beginning to get dark.

Anyway obviously I managed to somehow heroically drag myself back to safety and have just about recovered (my ribs still hurt), but at least I know what that fence was doing there and plan to sponsor some kind of plaque at the scene commemorating my idiocy as a warning to others.
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

Image

Yours truly in Chester.
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Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Fuck me it's hot.

Post by Sky'sGoneOut »

This is where I was yesterday.

Image

That sliver of land you can see in the distance is Lindisfarne.
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