Reaching out.
- Sky'sGoneOut
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Reaching out.
Ok I'm sorry about being a twat on previous occasions but I'm not feeling that great myself.
I used to have panic attacks which lasted about an hour but now due to 'wellness' exercises I can make them last a couple of days. I don't have the shortness of breath or any of that physical nonsense, just stress chemicals fucking about in my brain for fucking ages longer than they used to be there. I lay last night in bed in fear of my own mind.
That's when it becomes scary, when you begin to doubt yourself and your own sanity.
I used to have panic attacks which lasted about an hour but now due to 'wellness' exercises I can make them last a couple of days. I don't have the shortness of breath or any of that physical nonsense, just stress chemicals fucking about in my brain for fucking ages longer than they used to be there. I lay last night in bed in fear of my own mind.
That's when it becomes scary, when you begin to doubt yourself and your own sanity.
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Re: Reaching out.
I used to have panic attacks,which I learnt to control to a sort of nervous productive angst,I don't know if recent experiences of the worst thing happening,happening has seemingly resulted in a what the fuck can life do to me know attitude.That isn't self pity,I have a good life,just the result of nothing can be worse than has already happened.Not much use but I hope you find peace.
- Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Reaching out.
Are you Ok?
Seriously I'm not messing about.
We all like to think we have a good life.
Even I do. I feed the birds outside the window. Have them wake me up as a dawn chorus or watch tits gnawing at my nuts as the sun goes down.
Seriously I'm not messing about.
We all like to think we have a good life.
Even I do. I feed the birds outside the window. Have them wake me up as a dawn chorus or watch tits gnawing at my nuts as the sun goes down.
- Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Reaching out.
It's sad though how we have to wonder why everything is so shit.
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Re: Reaching out.
Fine,thanks.
- Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Reaching out.
Sorry Hindle, my life is weird and I'd very much like to hear how you learned control.
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Re: Reaching out.
I've only had a couple of full blown attacks ... I walked, indoors, in circles. Took about half an hour to calm myself down. Now if I feel it's going to get out of hand, I make myself do something physical. Even if it's washing up.
I get anxious quite a lot and wake up in the morning with the most depressing thoughts but found doing crossword puzzles distracts me enough to come out of it.
I get anxious quite a lot and wake up in the morning with the most depressing thoughts but found doing crossword puzzles distracts me enough to come out of it.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. – Aesop
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Re: Reaching out.
There is no answer Skye. It just is.Sky'sGoneOut wrote:It's sad though how we have to wonder why everything is so shit.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. – Aesop
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Re: Reaching out.
When my brother in law dropped dead in his fifties mainly through stress over my sisters cancer I came to the conclusion shit happens: we live in chaos: there are no answers ... Weirdly I cope far better now.HindleA wrote:I used to have panic attacks,which I learnt to control to a sort of nervous productive angst,I don't know if recent experiences of the worst thing happening,happening has seemingly resulted in a what the fuck can life do to me know attitude.That isn't self pity,I have a good life,just the result of nothing can be worse than has already happened.Not much use but I hope you find peace.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. – Aesop
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Re: Reaching out.
"Thankyou for being you",will sustain me until I go.Despite my numerous faults and self loathing at times,somebody chose to share their life and entrusted their last moments with me.When I am down/,fearful,unsure;I remember that.
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Re: Reaching out.
I found running in organised events helpful-every step is a Tory's head,you are cheered more if you are crap,the same medal regardless;a hero for being useless,a child offering a high five;the revolutionary feel of taking over the streets;an adult offering a jelly baby,a slice of cake and jokingly a fag but gratefully received ,a band playing,a dig in when necessary,a hill to surmount,ebb and flows of feeling awful and elated-"life".
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Re: Reaching out.
That's beautiful.HindleA wrote:"Thankyou for being you",will sustain me until I go.Despite my numerous faults and self loathing at times,somebody chose to share their life and entrusted their last moments with me.When I am down/,fearful,unsure;I remember that.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. – Aesop
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Re: Reaching out.
With an old established company like Austin Reed going into receivership, I am suddenly remembering Thatcher and Major years, when family businesses hundreds of years old ceased trading.
I used to think about all the events they'd survived through the centuries, and all it took was a jumped up grocers daughter from Grantham and a bunch of venous Tories to kill them off for good.
I used to think about all the events they'd survived through the centuries, and all it took was a jumped up grocers daughter from Grantham and a bunch of venous Tories to kill them off for good.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. – Aesop
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Re: Reaching out.
Sorry. Posted this on the wrong board.....
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. – Aesop
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Re: Reaching out.
You're not being a twat Skye...You ask questions we all ask ourselves at times.Ok I'm sorry about being a twat on previous occasions but I'm not feeling that great myself.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. – Aesop
Re: Reaching out.
I've had a lot going on (for me) socially and I've been more easily distracted.Sky'sGoneOut wrote:Ok I'm sorry about being a twat on previous occasions but I'm not feeling that great myself.
I used to have panic attacks which lasted about an hour but now due to 'wellness' exercises I can make them last a couple of days. I don't have the shortness of breath or any of that physical nonsense, just stress chemicals fucking about in my brain for fucking ages longer than they used to be there. I lay last night in bed in fear of my own mind.
That's when it becomes scary, when you begin to doubt yourself and your own sanity.
I apologise for not responding as soon as I saw the thread topic - it's exactly the best thing to do - reaching out.
Re: Reaching out.
Hear, hear!ohsocynical wrote:You're not being a twat Skye...You ask questions we all ask ourselves at times.Ok I'm sorry about being a twat on previous occasions but I'm not feeling that great myself.
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Re: Reaching out.
Thank you.
But I am evidently a twat. And I make no effort to conceal it.
One minute I can seem sane and friendly then the next I can seem like a loony offering...
Whatever you like.
But I am evidently a twat. And I make no effort to conceal it.
One minute I can seem sane and friendly then the next I can seem like a loony offering...
Whatever you like.
- Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Reaching out.
[youtube]kj0tBoj7jl8[/youtube]
There's sense to be made of this.
There's sense to be made of this.
Re: Reaching out.
This is beautifulHindleA wrote:I found running in organised events helpful-every step is a Tory's head,you are cheered more if you are crap,the same medal regardless;a hero for being useless,a child offering a high five;the revolutionary feel of taking over the streets;an adult offering a jelly baby,a slice of cake and jokingly a fag but gratefully received ,a band playing,a dig in when necessary,a hill to surmount,ebb and flows of feeling awful and elated-"life".
I spent nearly a half hour trying to write more
it's beautiful, your post here, HindleA, thank you
Re: Reaching out.
Good - society needs someone periodically rousing, prevents bottomed out passivitySky'sGoneOut wrote:Thank you.
But I am evidently a twat. And I make no effort to conceal it.
One minute I can seem sane and friendly then the next I can seem like a loony offering...
Whatever you like.
I'll let you know if or when I've been challenged enough for the day, you know?
I'll say, "Sky'sGoneOut, ease down just now, not today - I'm unable to handle it" and we'll both still be part of our society - no hard feelings - "see you later on", "okay"
Re: Reaching out.
The Givens of Life
- everything changes and ends ---> grieve and let go
- things do not always go according to plan ---> accept what happens and learn from it
- life is not always fair ---> work for greater fairness & justice
- pain is a part of life ---> allow pain that is natural - don't add to pain by attempting to control it
- people are not loving and loyal all the time ---> Speak up, say "OUCH!" while not retaliating
- David Richo
The Five Things We Cannot Change & the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them
- everything changes and ends ---> grieve and let go
- things do not always go according to plan ---> accept what happens and learn from it
- life is not always fair ---> work for greater fairness & justice
- pain is a part of life ---> allow pain that is natural - don't add to pain by attempting to control it
- people are not loving and loyal all the time ---> Speak up, say "OUCH!" while not retaliating
- David Richo
The Five Things We Cannot Change & the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them
Re: Reaching out.
thrills are overrated but tears indicate sufferingSky'sGoneOut wrote:[youtube]kj0tBoj7jl8[/youtube]
There's sense to be made of this.
a girl can't do what offends her soul without suffering for it
boys, same
- Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Reaching out.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
[youtube]NHBYXtqmerY[/youtube]
[youtube]NHBYXtqmerY[/youtube]
Re: Reaching out.
I've never seen or heard Sinéad O'Connor's song
Lovely tune, I don't know much about it
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
Lovecraft - translates, 'In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming'
I used to own all his writing but I left my book collection behind when I moved back to the UK
I love classic horror/ghost stories as a genre; Lovecraft's a bit different though, disturbing, fascinating
Thank you for your post(s), Sky'sGoneOut
Lovely tune, I don't know much about it
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
Lovecraft - translates, 'In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming'
I used to own all his writing but I left my book collection behind when I moved back to the UK
I love classic horror/ghost stories as a genre; Lovecraft's a bit different though, disturbing, fascinating
Thank you for your post(s), Sky'sGoneOut
- Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Reaching out.
I have a collection of M.R James if anyone's interested.
- Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Reaching out.
Once I loved you alll.
- Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Reaching out.
I'm trying to learn the flute.
- Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Reaching out.
Yuck.
- Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Reaching out.
I'm not very good at reaching out am I?
Just a load of drink and drug addled bollocks, a person too scared to even offer an honest sober version of themselves online.
I don't know. Once I was young and proud and fought the good internet fight. These days I'm increasingly looking for an easy life. And that means turning up at places like this wrecked spouting off some random nonsense then disappearing thinking my work is done.
I'm sorry about the above, I was obviously under the influence of drugs, alcohol and wanting to go somewhere else more exciting. And I don't mean The Guardian or anywhere like that. There are other forums out there. They can be a dream to some a nightmare to others.
Just a load of drink and drug addled bollocks, a person too scared to even offer an honest sober version of themselves online.
I don't know. Once I was young and proud and fought the good internet fight. These days I'm increasingly looking for an easy life. And that means turning up at places like this wrecked spouting off some random nonsense then disappearing thinking my work is done.
I'm sorry about the above, I was obviously under the influence of drugs, alcohol and wanting to go somewhere else more exciting. And I don't mean The Guardian or anywhere like that. There are other forums out there. They can be a dream to some a nightmare to others.
Re: Reaching out.
One of my favourite authors - I gave away my book collection. It was a good thing for me to do. Enjoy his work.Sky'sGoneOut wrote:I have a collection of M.R James if anyone's interested.
Re: Reaching out.
I wish you every happiness and contentment.Sky'sGoneOut wrote:I'm not very good at reaching out am I?
Just a load of drink and drug addled bollocks, a person too scared to even offer an honest sober version of themselves online.
I don't know. Once I was young and proud and fought the good internet fight. These days I'm increasingly looking for an easy life. And that means turning up at places like this wrecked spouting off some random nonsense then disappearing thinking my work is done.
I'm sorry about the above, I was obviously under the influence of drugs, alcohol and wanting to go somewhere else more exciting. And I don't mean The Guardian or anywhere like that. There are other forums out there. They can be a dream to some a nightmare to others.
love,
cJA
- Sky'sGoneOut
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Re: Reaching out.
What? Why?citizenJA wrote:I gave away my book collection.
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Re: Reaching out.
I think CJAs books were in the States. Then she came to live here. I expect she'll explain better than I have.Sky'sGoneOut wrote:What? Why?citizenJA wrote:I gave away my book collection.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. – Aesop
Re: Reaching out.
I left the US to come home to the UK.Sky'sGoneOut wrote:What? Why?citizenJA wrote:I gave away my book collection.
The expense of moving them to the UK was too great.
Re: Reaching out.
Our flat wouldn't have held them all and it was good learning letting go of possessions
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Re: Reaching out.
It's good learning to let go of possesions when it happens to be your choice.
When other people force that loss it tends to be somewhat annoying and worthy of going to court.
When other people force that loss it tends to be somewhat annoying and worthy of going to court.